Archive for December, 2006

Nothing Is Impossible With Love But Love Doesnt Have To Be Painful All The Time

Saturday, December 30th, 2006

Nothing is impossible with love, but when is the time the love doesnt spell right as it should be? Is it right to define love as willing self-sacrifice on behalf of another? You love a person as they are, as he or she seeks to find their own special way to relate to the world, or the way they feel what is right for them. Heart was not created with special antibodies metabolism that can be a barrier when it exposed to harshness because of this kind of love. Heart is fragile. Little by little it will become thin and dwindle. There will be an era even it will take time to realize that you cannot give love and finding yourself at the ground immobilized, paralyzed, grievously broken. Complete happiness is physically tough to find. Give and take affair is literally set forth without the latter and doubling the former as much as it can. Blinded with the certainty of ending like a fairy tale story. Is it important that he or she is the person they want to be and not someone that I or others think they should be? Do they really care about you? Love is so powerful; yes it can shift mountains, soar high up in the sky and glide down to the deepest of the sea. It is uncontrollable, unruly and intractable. You often say you will love him or her until the end, and just as you didn’t expect the heart suddenly spoke! The end you’re talking might be the time the weary heart gives-up.

Weird Facts

Wednesday, December 27th, 2006

During foreplay, a woman’s breast can increase in size up to 25%.

The maximum depth at which vaginal stimulation occurs is only 2".

In the 1950s, it was found out that 75% of men cum within 2 minutes of penetration, with the orgasm lasting no longer than a few seconds. The longest documented for a woman is one minute.

Among the Mangaians of Polynesia, 18 year old couples make love an average of 3 times a night, every night, until they’re in their 30s, when the weekly average drops to a mere 14. (I wanna move!)

The maximum speed at which the erotic sensations travel from the skin to the brain has been clocked 156 MPH.

Largest erect penis: 13"

Smallest erect penis: 1.75"

The Caramoja tribe of northern Uganda tie a weight the end of their penises to enlongate them sometimes to such a degree that the men literally have to knot them up.

In 1609 a doctor named Wecker found a corpse in Bologna with 2 penises. Since then, there have been 80 documented cases of men with the same.

Women are 30% more sexually active during a full moon, and the most common love making time in the US is 11:00pm.

Intercourse peaks in July.

Except for the 1/2 dozen men who’ve shown up in emergency rooms over the years because they got too intimate with a vacuum cleaner, women are the more creative auto-eroticists, and they masturbate most frequently when in a stable relationship.

Women are also better self-starters: 60% claiming to have discovered orgasm on their own, as opposed to only 25% of men.

In Lebanon, men are legally allowed to have sex with animals, but the animals must be female. Having sexual relations with a male animal is punishable by death.

In Bahrain, a male doctor may legally examine a woman’s genitals, but is prohibited from looking directly at them during the examination. He may only see their reflection in a mirror.

Muslims are banned from looking at the genitals of a corpse. This also applies to undertakers. The sex organs of the deceased must be covered with a brick or piece of wood at all times.

The penalty for masturbation in Indonesia is decapitation.

There are men in Guam whose full-time job is to travel the countryside and deflower young virgins, who pay them for the privilege of having sex for the first time. Reason: under Guam law, it is expressly forbidden for virgins to marry.

In Hong Kong, a betrayed wife is legally allowed to kill her adulterous husband, but may only do so with her bare hands. The husband’s lover, on the other hand, may be killed in any manner desired.

Topless saleswomen are legal in Liverpool, England - but only in tropical fish stores.

In Cali, Colombia, a woman may only have sex with her husband, and the first time this happens, her mother must be in the room to witness the act.

In Santa Cruz, Bolivia, it is illegal for a man to have sex with a woman and her daughter at the same time. (I presume this was a big enough problem that they had to pass this law?)

In Maryland, it is illegal to sell condoms from vending machines with one exception: prophylactics may be dispensed from a vending machine only "in places where alcoholic beverages are sold for consumption on the premises."

A pig’s orgasm lasts for 30 minutes.

Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.

Some lions mate over 50 times a day.

Green Jokes No.11: A Riddle

Wednesday, December 27th, 2006

Arnold Schwarzenegger has a big one.

Michael J. Fox has a small one.

Madonna doesn’t have one.

The Pope has one but doesn’t use it.

Clinton uses his all the time.

Bush is one.

Mickey Mouse has an unusual one.

Liberace never used his on women.

Jerry Seinfeld is very, very proud of his.

Cher claims that she took on 3.

We never saw Lucy use Desi’s.

What is it?

Green Jokes No.10: Family Feud

Wednesday, December 27th, 2006

A family is at the dinner table. The son asks his father, "Dad, how many kinds of boobies are there?

The father, surprised, answers, "Well, son, there’s three kinds of breasts. In her twenties, a woman’s breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her thirties to forties, they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit. After fifty, they are like onions."

"Onions?"

"Yes, you see them and they make you cry."

This infuriated his wife and daughter so the daughter said, "Mum, how many kinds of ‘willies’ are there?"

The mother, surprised, smiles and answers, "Well dear, a man goes through three phases. In his twenties, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his thirties and forties, it is a birch, flexible but reliable. After his fifties, it is like a Christmas tree."

"A Christmas tree?"

"Yes, dead from the root up and the balls are for decoration only."

Green Jokes No.9: Nuns

Wednesday, December 27th, 2006

There were two nuns. One of them was known as Sister Mathematical (SM), and the other one was known as Sister Logical (SL).

It is getting dark and they are still far away from the convent.

SM: Have you noticed that a man has been following us for the past thirty-eight and a half minutes? I wonder what he wants.

SL: It’s logical. He wants to rape us.

SM: Oh, no! At this rate he will reach us in 15 minutes at the most? What can we do?

SL: The only logical thing to do of course is to walk faster.

SM: It’s not working.

SL: Of course it’s not working. The man did the only logical thing. He started to walk faster, too.

SM: So, what shall we do? At this rate he will reach us in one minute.

SL: The only logical thing we can do is split. You go that way and I’ll go this way. He cannot follow us both.

So the man decided to follow Sister Logical.

Sister Mathematical arrives at the convent and is worried about what has happened to Sister Logical.

Then Sister Logical arrives.

SM: Sister Logical! Thank God you are here! Tell me what happened!

SL: The only logical thing happened. The man couldn’t follow us both,so he followed me

SM: Yes, yes! But what happened then?

SL: The only logical thing happened. I started to run as fast as I could and he started to run as fast as he could.

SM: And?

SL: The only logical thing happened. He reached me.

SM: Oh, dear! What did you do?

SL: The only logical thing to do. I lifted my dress up.

SM: Oh, Sister! What did the man do?

SL: The only logical thing to do. He pulled down his pants.

SM: Oh, no! What happened then?

SL: Isn’t it logical, Sister?

A nun with her dress up can run faster than man with his pants down.

(And for those of you who thought it would be dirty, say two Hail Marys!)

Jokes No.8: Kalbo

Wednesday, December 27th, 2006

Si misis ay seloso at palaging tsine - check ang kanyang babaerong mister tuwing uuwing galing ng opisina. Isang araw galing sa club si mister… Misis: Ano ka ba naman tingnan mo itong polo mo may buhok na kulay blonde, siguro Americana ang ka-table mo ano? Hudas!!! Mister: Hindi kumain lang ako ng mais at nadikit yung buhok (palusot lang). Kinabukasan…. Misis: Ano ba naman kahapon blonde ngayon kulot naman… walanghiya ka talaga!!! Mister: Hindi nadikit lang nanghiram lang ako ng suklay sa kumare mong kulot sa opisina kanina (lusot ulit). Kinabukasan talagang sobrang pagiingat ang ginawa ni lalaki upang hindi na mabisto, pinagpag muna niya ang damit bago umuwi… Misis: Walanghiya ka talaga pati kalbo pinapatulan mo na ngayon!!!

Unfriendly Friendster

Saturday, December 23rd, 2006

Consider this; your profile in Friendster is one of the cool, top ranking profiles on the face of the cyberspace, then all of a sudden whasp WTH happened? All of your CSS layouts have gone with the blink of an eye. Friendster no more user friendly.

Araw araw ko ata binubuksan ang friendster ko. I check my messages, how many profile views I got, update my blog, approve testimonials and a never lasting editing my CSS layout just to make sure it will be one of the best over 36 million profiles in Friendster. Dahil sa pag update ng Friendster at paglalagay ng mga bagong features lahat ng mga CSS codes ay ayaw na gumana. Nakakalungkot pag masdan ang profile mo na noon halos ipagmalaki mo sa mga office mate mo at sa nanay mo ngayo’y daig pa babaing narape.

E ano kung inaalis namen ang mga ads at banner na nilalagay nyo sa profile namen? Di ba that’s why may tinatawag na personalize? Maaari nyo namang ilagay ung ads sa ibang windows but not in the front profile. Marami atang tao ang biglang natuto ng web designing at naging advance user dahil pilit nilang pinagaganda ang kani-kanilang profiles.

Hindi ba’t kaming mga users ang nagpasikat ng site nyo sana naman suklian nyo ren ito ng maayos na serbisyo. Aun lang.

My New Music Video Released

Tuesday, December 19th, 2006

Natapos ko na nga pala ang bagong music video na ginawa ko para sa Spiderman 3, katulad pa rin ng dati pero ngayon 98% ng scenes mula sa 3 mismo, wala ng repeating clips di tulad dati na parehas lang pag chorus na ng kanta. Mas astig na ngayon. Sana magustuhan ninyo. Pakiview nyo lang dito sa YouTube (shift+click) at paki rate at comment na ren ok. Kinarir ko na to eh. Hahahaha.

To All My Readers

Friday, December 15th, 2006

Magkakaroon po ng bagong segment ang blog ko… sa lahat ng kaibigan kong gustong i-share ang kwento ng lovelife nila at humihingi ng advice, ioopen ko po ang blog ko mala Joe D’ Mango. Hindi po ito lokohan o gaguhan. Makakaasa po kayong makakahanap kayo ng sagot sa mga problema nyo about sa love at ako po mismo ang sasagot nito. Gagawin ko pong confidential ang bawat magpapadala ng story sa akin thru messages in friendster, at makakaasa ren po kayong hindi ko babanggitin ang mga totoo nyong pangalan at lahat ng tauhan sa kwento nyo.

Sa lahat ng  magpapadala i-type nyo po ang buong details ng story nyo sa message sa friendster mas mahaba mas okay. Ako na pong bahala sa editing kung me babaguhin. Kung gusto nyo na pong baguhin ang pangalan ng characters maari ren. Bahala na ren kayo kung english or tagalog nyo gawin.

Makakaasa po kayo na maayos kong sasagutin ang lahat ng problema nyo sa pag ibig. Salamat po ulet sa lahat ng nagbabasa ng blog ko. At sana tangkilikin nyo pa ito lalo at ang mga bagong segment ko.

Just Wondering

Friday, December 15th, 2006

Ang hirap po pala ng iyak ng iyak. Masakit na sa mata, masakit pa sa puso. Sana hindi ako mapagod umiyak… dahil ayaw ko pa mapagod magmahal. : (